What Did You Just Say Transcript

Anna Hunter:
Hi, leaders. My name is Anna Hunter, and I am an associate director of the Student Union. I have a strong passion for student engagement and leadership development.

Mai Nguyen:
Hi. My name is Mai Nguyen, and I work in IT solutions as a product experience owner. I've worked in student affairs, specifically with student organizations and student leadership development, so I'm looking forward to this session with you today. What we're hoping to accomplish today with this video is to help grasp a better understanding of how we, as leaders, can create a more inclusive and safe environment simply with the language we use when communicating. Now, let's take a deeper dive into things.

Anna Hunter:
Let's review some definitions to build a foundation for our discussion. Inclusion is the act of creating an environment in which all individuals are treated fairly and respectfully, they all have equal access to opportunities and resources, and they all can contribute fully to the broader community. Inclusion requires awareness, mindfulness, and intentional effort. A safe environment is a place of security. It is where any risk of harm is minimized and people feel secure to be their authentic selves. This is what we are striving for. And communication is the process of effectively exchanging information through a shared use of language symbols or behavior. It is simply the creation and exchange of meaning.

Mai Nguyen:
A concept that we found to be important in the world of communicating is understanding the difference between your intent versus the impact of your words. I love this quote by Maya Angelou that I feel like expresses this so clearly. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." As leaders, our voice is a powerful tool. When others feel included and safe in an environment, they're more likely to feel a sense of belonging, feel a sense of comfort to more openly share their thoughts, and ultimately feel more trust within the group. It's important to be aware of not only what we mean to say, but also how our words will impact others.

Anna Hunter:
Now, it is time to practice aligning your intent and impact. We will provide a series of statements that we've heard other leaders say. We'll read each one out loud, and then we want you to try to rewrite the statement to effectively communicate what you imagine the leader's intent is. The first statement is, "Great job, guys." All right. Now, pause the video, reflect on the intent, and rewrite the statement. Using the term guys to refer to a diverse group of people dismisses the value of women and non-binary individuals in the group. You could replace the word guys with everyone or team to be more inclusive.

The next statement is, "I know exactly how you feel." Now, pause the video and rewrite the statement to reflect the intent. No two people will have the exact same reality, so if we say this, we could be dismissing another person's experience. One way that this could be rewritten is, "Your experience sounds challenging. I've had a similar thing happened to me, and this is how I navigated it." Let's try this next one. "I didn't know you were that talented." Pause to rewrite the statement. This statement could suggest that you assumed the person was less skilled or talented previously. The statement could be replaced with, "I am so glad we have your talents on this team."

Here is the next statement. "You're being too sensitive. Don't take it personally." Paise the video and try to rewrite this statement. This could really come across as though a person's feelings are invalid. Each person is entitled to their own feelings and each person has a unique lens for their experiences. An example of how this could be rewritten is, "We all react to things in different ways. What about this situation is most challenging for you?" Nice work. We have a few more statements to practice, so we can continue our growth. The next one is, "Your name is so hard to pronounce. I'm probably going to butcher it." Pause and rewrite the statement. This statement suggests that the person does not fit in or belong to the majority group or community. It emphasizes discomfort with difference. An alternative way of this phrase could be said is, "Would you mind showing me how to pronounce your name?" All right.

Here is the sixth statement. "It's only a joke. They didn't mean anything by it." Press pause and try to rewrite this one. All people's feelings are valid. This statement minimizes a person's feelings and further excuses another persons offensive behavior. Leaders must validate followers' feelings of pain, regardless if they personally agree or not. Instead, one way to react could be, "It seems that this made you feel uncomfortable. Would you mind explaining what specifically is concerning you? How can I help to ensure does not happen again? The last statement is, "What are you doing for Christmas?" Pause the video and try to rewrite this statement. This is assuming that everyone celebrates Christmas, which disregards other religions. One way this could be rewritten and is, "What are you doing for the holidays or winter break?"

We are all human, and we all have very different communication styles. What constitutes offensive language is at the discretion of the listener. Also, what is deemed socially unacceptable changes through time, so it is important that we practice how to clearly articulate our intent, so that we can avoid general statements that could have a negative impact. Leaders make mistakes, and that's how we learn. So, if you happen to say something that you later realized could have had a negative impact, simply apologize to your listeners. Tell them that what you said did not match your intent and could have been harmful. Then explain your original intent. As long as you communicate with genuine care, concern, and curiosity, you will be well on your way to fostering a safe environment through the use of inclusive language. Thank you for joining us today, and we wish you the best of luck on your leadership journey.

Page last updated 9:21 AM, June 11, 2024